


tell all the english boys you meet

by abrodkin



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, armin dub screaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-14
Packaged: 2018-02-04 14:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1782673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/abrodkin/pseuds/abrodkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The booth, it was blue, glittering vinyl dirtied from years of use. The tables were plastic but they looked like wood, and their table had a deep gouge mark in the side. Some kid probably took their dulled steak knife and tried to look cool, and the restaurant never bothered to fix it. The song played dull in the background, it was something popular ten, twelve years ago, reduced to elevator music and playing in this hole in the wall. </p><p>Sitting across from him, Eren pouted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	tell all the english boys you meet

**Author's Note:**

> guess who's been working on this since April.........

This is the icing on the cake. The salt in the wound, the straw that’ll break your back. This is the final, this is the ultimate, this is the genesis of the whole situation. Shame it had to happen now.

The booth, it was blue, glittering vinyl dirtied from years of use. The tables were plastic but they looked like wood, and their table had a deep gouge mark in the side. Some kid probably took their dulled steak knife and tried to look cool, and the restaurant never bothered to fix it. The song played dull in the background, it was something popular ten, twelve years ago, reduced to elevator music and playing in this hole in the wall. He loved it, _he_ didn’t love it, he convinced _him_ to go there, and since _he_ was putty in his hands, _he_ agreed. 

The plates, they were ceramic, probably ten, fifteen years old. _He_ could tell because there were some things chlorine just couldn’t wash away. _It adds character,_ he had said. Yeah, sure. Character. Right. A food inspector wouldn’t have been so nice, but it looked like the place hadn’t been thoroughly cleaned in a year. Not as bad as the part of town _he_ had lived in, but still not pleasant. A ceiling fan rotated lazily above them, despite the sky outside being grey and filled with clouds, fat drops raining onto old cement and pavement. 

The food from the place, it was greasy, yellow and brown with a limp piece of lettuce on the side of his pile of fries, meant to be put onto his brown burger, under a brown bun and an OK looking tomato slice. The pickle, it was dredged and juicy, but with matte skin and deflated bumps covering the side. There was a bottle of ketchup and mustard on the table that had probably been filled and refilled hundreds of times, cutlery wrapped in paper napkins tied with more paper. There was a few lone sheets inside the cutlery holder, a plastic cup full of crayons broken in twenty different pieces, the generic magenta and blue and green and yellow seen in many establishments. The clink of white ceramic coffee mugs filled the air above the music, a waitress walking lazily with a sad looking jug of coffee hanging off her hand, sporting long, fuchsia nails. Typical. 

_This place is a dump._

“Your fries are gonna get cold.”

“I don’t really care, honestly.”

“I’m paying for your shit, you _should_ care.”

“Honestly, Eren? Let me pay for it myself. _I’m_ not the one in school, remember?”

Sitting across from him, Eren pouted. He was a good looking guy, not that anyone would notice at first glance. Second glance, however, that was a different story. Tanned skin and brown hair, features not yet chiselled by age. Blue-ish green-ish irises and white, straight teeth, normal sized hands and normal sized fingers, bony but not bony to the point you would think he was malnourished. Trim, clean nails, and fairly muscled. Dark green sweater over black jeans and black boots, laced up with white laces. Key necklace hung around his neck, bronze and glimmering. _I just like the way it looks,_ but it was from his father, and it was the only thing he could remember him by. He shoved the grease-laden fries into his mouth before grabbing the saltshaker and adding more sodium and disgusting into his pile.

“True.”

“I’ll pay for your shit too, if you want me to.”

“Nah, it’s fine. I’m not a kid anymore.”

“I just want to treat you, is all.”

“Yeah? Thanks. I’m still paying for myself, though. I did a survey for the psych students today and they gave me 20 bucks, I think I can spring this.”

Levi was not like Eren, not really. Pale skin contrasted with tan, black hair darker than Eren’s own brown. Grey eyes accompanied pale lips and thick lashes, sharp but not too sharp cheekbones, a small nose and thin eyebrows. Small hands, long fingers, pale to each knuckle but not incredibly thin. Short nails, cleaned every chance he got, built physique. He wore a thermal, black, long sleeved shirt and black hoodie, black jeans and grey skate shoes. Under his shirt was a tattoo of wings, not like anyone ever really saw it except for Eren. Black and white intersecting, it was a pain in the ass to get but it would be with him forever, and that was all that mattered. There was grease on his fingers, invading the perfectly clean nails, and he grimaced.

“Go ahead.”

“How was work?”

“Eh, it was normal. Erwin’s still a shithead, but that’s nothing new.” He let a stream of air out through his nose. “He just gave me two new clients to deal with on top of the three that I’m editing right now, it’s such a fucking mess. So that’s five dipshit authors who most likely can’t write for shit giving me their god-awful manuscripts and asking me to go through them. Like I have time to go over every sentence they write and give them the gold star they’re looking for.” Coffee cup brought back up to his lips, he took a sip and screwed up his face before putting the mug almost harshly back onto the table. “It’s the kids who are your age and a little older thinking they’re the next Chuck Palahniuk, but in all honesty they write like that 50 Shades idiot. And Erwin thinks I’m the only one who can tolerate the garbage he signs, but it’s getting on my nerves, honestly. Give the shit to someone else.”

“So just a typical day for you?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry you’re so sophisticated, Mr. ‘I’m 26, they should pay me more respect!’ Levi. You’re not _that_ much older than the majority of the people you edit, right?”

“Some kid came out of Erwin’s office today crying. She looked about 16. I’m not that bad compared to him.” He poked at his fries before picking a few up on a fork and putting them into his mouth. “You know,” he said while he chewed, “Erwin, if he were ever a war commander or some shit like that, he would probably send all his troops into battle without caring. Or he would care and cry like a bitch about it when he got back to base. Or not. I don’t fucking know.”

“And what about you? What would you be like?”

“No fucking idea. I would probably have to go and scream at one of the punching dummies every few days just to get out the frustration.”

Eren smirked. “I think you would act like a dick to your subordinates but secretly think of them like your children.” His smirk widened as Levi scoffed. “You know it’s true.”

“Yeah, well. Mr. observant over here, you think you’re smart.”

“But I am?”

“Yeah, you are,” Levi sighed. “How’s that teacher?”

“Which one?”

“I had him when I went there, uh… Fuck, I can’t remember. Your history teacher.”

“Oh! Shadis! Yeah, still an ass. We have papers due in a week and he yelled at Jean when he heard Jean talking to Marco about how stupid it was. Like, shut up, _you’re_ the one who decided to take this as an elective credit and didn’t drop out. Suck it up.”

“Can’t be helped.”

“He’s such a bitch. He’s _always_ been a bitch. And the sad part is that he gets really good marks but he isn’t even doing it because he wants to get them. Of course, I’m doing better than him but besides the point, it’s so unfair.”

“Is he directly affecting you?”

“Well, yeah. He’s pissing me off.”

“But is he hurting _you_ in any way? Mark wise?”

“…No.”

“So stop complaining.”

The lights above them flickered, a crash of thunder and a bright flash of lightening sounding outside the window. The rain outside, it was beating down from the skies grey as smog-slicked snow, over exaggerated droplets splattering down onto cold, hard pavement. There were cars lining the streets and parking lot, looking like paint splatters upon dull canvas, blues and reds and greens standing out against sleet. The food was slowly diminishing on their plates, grease slicking white ceramic and salt granules littering Eren’s side of the table. Red smears from ketchup and juice from the pickle mingled together, slowly working their way to the edge of the plate. Condensation lined their water glasses, and Levi’s coffee was cold.

“You always complain, though.”

“I have the right to. I’m not in school anymore.”

“But you complained while you were in school, too.”

“I’m also older than you.”

Eren pouted. “That’s unfair.”

“I’ll let you start complaining after you graduate and get into the work force. It fucking sucks, you’ll have every single right to complain.”

“How sweet. You’re such a prince to me.”

“Don’t be sarcastic, I can read you like a book.”

“Am I better than the shitty ones you edit though?”

Levi nodded. “For sure. I’ll bring one home on Monday if you want to see one.”

“You’ve never shown me any before, are they that bad?”

“Eren. Think of the worst book you’ve ever read.” Levi paused to let him think. “You got it?”

“Yeah.”

“How bad was it?”

Eren rested his chin on the palm of his hand, fingers curling to the side of his cheek. “Pretty bad. It was a shitty romance Mikasa made me read once. She thought it was the best thing in the world, but everything was so painfully unrealistic that it hurt to read it almost.”

“All the shit I edit is worse than that. You’ll see on Monday.”

“Erwin sure likes giving you a hard time, huh?”

“Yeah,” Levi sighed, “But it’s fine. I whip them into shape.”

“I’ve always been jealous of you, you know?”

“Why?”

Eren looked down at the table, poked at his fries with his fingers before picking two up and shoving them into his mouth. He chewed slowly, gulped dramatically, repeated the motions until all the fries on his plate were gone. Picked up the burger in its limp bun, took a bite, put it down and grimaced.

“It’s not as good when it’s cold.”

“No shit.”

“Let’s not go here next time.”

“It was your idea. _I_ never wanted to go here, you know that.”

“You still humoured me, though.” He took a deep breath in before letting it out and looking back up to Levi, small smile on his lips. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Levi could feel red flushing his cheeks. He grabbed his cup of coffee, taking a sip before spitting it back into the cup. “Let’s go, this shit is disgusting.”

He shoved dirty money into the waitress’ prying hands and got up, picking up a messenger bag that had been laying beside him in the booth. Eren got up and walked alongside him, through the door and out into the rain under the covered front steps. They were partially sheltered, but some rain still made its way underneath the cover, dropping onto Eren’s hair and turning it an even darker shade of brown.

“Fuck. Do you have an umbrella?”

Eren shook his head. “Sorry?”

“I’ll go get the car, just wait here.”

The car, it was black, which was typical and expected of him. They didn’t share it; Eren had his own car, a ratty old thing, bought when he was 18 and made in 1989. Levi’s car had a leather interior, tinted windows, pristine but slightly worn in. It wasn’t exactly new, but it had been new when he got it, smelling like leather and making him gag. Eren had bounced in the seats with a stupid grin, wrinkled his nose at the smell, but was able to tolerate it. Nearly getting Levi into an accident a week after purchase when he made Levi drive into an empty parking lot with no previous warning and tackling him into the backseat. A blanket rested on the space on top of the backseats near the windows, rolled into a log with the loose edge touching the surface of the area it rested on, old and blue and smelling of detergent and lavender. Washed often, soft as fur and worn with use. Levi grabbed the blanket from its resting place and put it on the passenger seat, still rolled tight. He drove to the entrance of the restaurant and Eren practically jumped into the car.

“It’s really gross out.”

“Don’t state the obvious. Sit on the blanket or use it to wipe your hair, just don’t drip on my seats.”

“You never complained about me dripping on your seats before.” Eren smirked, and Levi sighed.

“Sometimes it seems like you’re 12 instead of 21. Asshole.”

“But you like _my_ as-”

“Eren, seriously. Let’s just go home, OK?”

“And fuck?”

Levi let out a hard stream of air through his nose. “You _are_ 12\. I can’t believe I’m with a 12 year old.”

“Ah, come on. I’m sorry.” Levi glared at him. “Really, I am! Sorry I’m not as mature as you. Give me a year, then I’ll be more mature, alright?”

“Sure.”

The streets, they were granite and charcoal streaked with water, beating down on worn down roads with faded yellow and orange lines. They pulled out of the parking lot and into traffic, horns blaring. The radio was turned on, softly playing against the lull of rain on the windows, something soft for alternative rock. Eren reached his arms up to the grey roof of the car and stretched, clenching his fists and yawning with his mouth spread wide.

“Weather like this always made me tired, you know?”

“You gonna fall asleep?”

“Probably.” Another yawn. “At least I won’t be a distraction when I’m sleeping, right?”

“It’s gonna take twice as long to get home now, and you’re leaving me alone. So considerate.”

“Sorry that I didn’t really sleep last night. I’ll make it up to you when we get home.”

“Why didn’t you sleep? You seemed fine when I woke up today.”

“I dunno. Nerves? The semester’s over soon, so it’s probably that.”

Levi glanced over at Eren, who had draped the blanket over himself and snuggled his head into the seat, tilting the back of it just slightly so that he was on an incline. “I don’t think it is.”

“Why?”

“I told you before, I can read you really easily. There’s really no point in lying to me, right? You can tell me if something’s bothering you.”

“I know,” Eren sighed. “Just… I’ll tell you when we get home, alright? I’m _really_ tired.”

“Fine.”

The rain pounded against the windows of the car, wet and grey, blocking Levi’s view. He turned on the windshield wipers and closed his eyes briefly, the sound of the wipers lulling him into a state of calm. Eren sat huddled under the blanket, draped over his shoulders, eyes closed with lashes fluttering lightly as he took deep breaths in and out in his sleep. Levi turned off the music and began to inch slowly forward into the traffic that awaited.

Their apartment was dark when they reached home. It didn’t make sense to leave on the lights; after all, it would just be another added expense, something a student and a literary editor couldn’t really afford. Eren immediately flipped on the lights and ran to their room, coming back a few seconds later with the spare comforter they kept for the winter. He wrapped it around his shoulders and slumped down onto the couch in their TV area, black and made of leather, overly stuffed. He patted the seat beside him and smirked as Levi walked over, planting himself firmly beside Eren and grabbing the blanket to settle on top of the both of them.

“Did you have a good nap?”

“Yeah, I guess. I’m still tired though.”

“Makes sense. Go to bed early, tonight, it’ll help.”

“I probably won’t be able to sleep again.”

“Do you wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wr-”

“Oh, _come on,_ Eren. You told me you would tell me when we got home. Well, we’re home. So you should tell me, because not telling me would be a shit move on your part.” Levi’s expression softened. “Sorry if that was too harsh.”

Eren sighed. “No, it wasn’t. You’re right.” He laid his head on Levi’s shoulder. “You won’t like what I’m going to tell you.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Do you really think you’re the only one who knows about other people? I know you just as well as you know me, Levi. I can read you just as well as you can read me. Trust me, you won’t like it.”

“Please just tell me. Honestly, I’ve probably heard worse.”

“You sure?”

“Positive.”

“ _Really?”_

Levi poked Eren’s side lightly. “You were saying something at the restaurant earlier, too. About how you’ve always been jealous of me or something. So you might as well tell me both of the things right now before it gets too late to.”

“…Do you want a tea or something?”

Levi groaned. “Fine. But you’re telling me the minute you bring it back here.”

“Alright.”

Eren shucked the blanket off of his shoulders and got up from the couch, stretching his arms over his head before venturing over to their kitchen. The kitchen was furnished in wood and faux-marble, dark cabinets and drawers with cream countertops and a black fridge and oven. Eren picked up the kettle (black, with chrome accents,) and walked over to the sink, filling it halfway with water before placing it back on its stand and flicking the “boil” switch. Steam filled the air a minute or two later, and he took the kettle off of its stand and grabbed two mugs, one black, one blue. He filled the mugs before popping tea bags into both of them, grabbing the sugar and balancing the three items in his arms before walking back to the couch. The rain was still pounding outside, and he put the mugs and sugar down before grabbing the remote to the TV. Before he could turn it on, Levi touched his hand, and he put the remote back on the table before sitting back down.

“Are you gonna tell me now?” Levi asked.

Eren nodded. He took one breath, two, three, before opening the sugar and spooning a hefty amount into his cup. Levi scrunched his nose before taking the spoon from Eren and putting a fairly small amount of sugar into his cup. He waited for Eren to take a few sips before putting his hand on Eren’s thigh.

“So… Uh… I really don’t know how to word this.”

Levi smirked. “You don’t have to be eloquent or anything. It’s just me.”

“But that’s what makes this _worse.”_

“Eren. Look at me, OK?” He put his hand on Eren’s cheek and softly turned Eren’s head towards him. “Even if I don’t like what you’re gonna say doesn’t mean I’ll hate _you.”_

“You will, though.”

“Just say it, Eren. _Please.”_

Eren blinked a few times, lowering his head before lifting it again. His eyes glistened. “Um. I was offered to do a semester abroad.”

“…Where?”

“London.”

“That’s… Eren, that’s… Fuck. That’s so far away, that’s maybe eight hours by plane.”

“I know, ju-”

Levi brought his hands into his lap and clenched them, moving slightly away from Eren. “I’m 26, right? I shouldn’t be freaking about this. But I _am.”_

“Levi-”

“And I know I can’t stop you from going, but that doesn’t mean I want you to.”

 _“Levi.”_ Eren moved himself to squish against Levi’s side, grabbing Levi’s hands in his own and squeezing. “I’m freaking out just as much as you are. OK? This isn’t easy for me, either.”

“I’m _so sure.”_ Levi got up from the couch, standing beside the coffee table and crossing his arms over his chest. “God, are you even gonna take it?”

“…I think I will, yeah.”

_“God.”_

He walked towards the door, picking up his keys from the kitchens counters, fake, creamy marble and too cheerful. Unlocked the door, and opened it-

“Don’t leave. _Please.”_

Levi looked at Eren on the couch. He had never looked so small, shrouded under the blanket with bangs falling in his face and tears running down his cheeks. Nails biting into the palms of his balled up fists, eyes turned red and enhancing the green that had turned dull. The rain pounded against the windows, tea left untouched and steam cooling.

He walked out the door.

The halls of their apartment building were furnished in dark green carpets and brown walls, lights dotting the spaces between apartment doors. 501, 502, 503, 503, he walked down the hall and to the elevators, the ones that always smelled like stale chicken soup and dust. Into the elevator, he pressed the button for ground and waited for the doors to close, and leaned against the wall of the elevator once it started to move.

He could swear something wet was on his cheeks, but he didn’t really care.

Then he was in the lobby, stalking across marble tiles and past the doorman with his too-cheerful smile, out into the parking lot where rain was falling in sheets. He walked to his car, opened the door with shaky hands and got in, not caring about his drenched body soaking the leather.

He pulled down the sun visor and opened the mirror, staring at his eyes. They were red, bloodshot and swollen, and he wiped them once before looking at the sides of his fingers. His eyes were hurting, and he had pulled out a few eyelashes in his haste to wipe away his tears.

“Fuck.”

He closed the mirror and put the sun visor back up before curling into himself and bringing his hands up to his face. A choked sob escaped his throat. _God, indeed._

There were too many things to be said. A semester abroad- what did that mean, really? It was four months. He had handled more being alone, but not alone without Eren. When they had met, Levi had been finishing the last year of his degree. He had skipped a year after high school and extended his degree to five years instead of four, and Eren had been a freshman. Now Eren was a junior going on senior, and Levi had a steady job. He wasn’t a kid anymore; he was closer to 30 than 20, had gone through nearly three years with Eren. Three years of trials, of fights, of making up and moving in, of visiting dorms at three in the morning, of playing Mario Kart and screaming at each other and waking up the neighbours.

Sure, there was Skype. Sure, there were phones. But that didn’t change the fact that he was damaged, didn’t change the fact that he had been retreating into himself little by little over the years under the guise that he was finally happy. No, it was a mask, obviously. He had pulled the wool over his eyes, became a sheep among wolves in costume, knowing that something was off but never really registering _what._ Now he knew.

The phone in his pocket vibrated; he sniffed once before raising his head from his hands. He reached into his pocket and took the call.

“ _What.”_

“Holy shit, what the fuck happened to your voice?” Hanji. He sighed inwardly.

“This is _not_ a good time to call me.”

“Oh my god, have you been _crying? Seriously?_ I’ve ne-”

“Hanji, seriously, _fuck off._ I’m not in a good mood.”

“I could tell that, grumpy. Jeez. Mind telling me what happened?”

_“No.”_

“It’s about Eren, isn’t it?”

“I’m hanging up.”

“So it is!” He could tell that Hanji was grinning from ear to ear. “Let me guess. He cheated? Wait, no, he wouldn’t… Ah! He’s giving his body up for science and wanted to tell you one last goodbye! _Amazing!_ He should’ve told me-”

“He’s not giving his fucking body up for science, Hanji, holy _shit._ ”

“Then he proposed?"

“I _wish._ God, I’m hanging up no-”

“Levi. He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

“No. I wish he had, honestly.”

“Why?”

“Because it would’ve been over quicker than this, alright? _Shit._ I’m seriously going to hang up.”

“No, you’re not.” Hanji sighed into the receiver. “Tell me, OK?”

“You sound exactly like I did twenty minutes ago.”

“Wait, where are you right now?”

“My car.”

“Driving?”

“In the parking lot. Alone. He’s in the apartment, I doubt he’ll come down anytime soon.”

“Did you get in a fight or something?”

“Technically.” He rubbed his eyes, feeling the wetness reacquaint itself onto his cheeks. “He was offered to go abroad for a semester.”

“But that’s really great! You should be happy for him?”

“I _am.”_

“Then why are you crying?”

“I don’t know, because it’s _far?_ Because I won’t be able to see him for four months? And maybe he’ll like it there better than here and want to spend the rest of the year there or something, and just leave me here where I’m so fucking miserable. _God.”_ He choked on his words, coughing a few times before continuing. “You know how awful I was until we got together.”

“I do. You were such a shit, honestly.”

“Oh my god-”

“And while I _do_ agree that you’re better now with him, you can’t rely on him. That’s not healthy at _all,_ Levi. You of all people should know that.”

“I do-”

“You obviously don’t. Because if you did, you wouldn’t be in your car in the middle of a storm _crying_ about it. Like you were 12 or something. How long have I known you?”

“A while, I don’t remember.” He looked at his eyes in the mirror; they were still red.

“So I know you, right? You’re better than this. Go apologize to him.”

“How do you know I got angry and not him?”

“Holy shit, did you not just listen to what I said? _I know you._ You know what? I’ll hang up on you, right? So you won’t get the satisfaction of hanging up on me. Go.”

“Why did you even call me in the first place?”

_“Go.”_

“Serio-”

The line clicked. He lowered the phone and looked at the screen, seeing Hanji’s smiling contact picture glaring back at him. He scowled, throwing the phone onto the seat beside him. _Really._

The rain was refusing to let up, slapping against the windows harder than before. Clouds that had been the same colour as concrete turned to slate and charcoal, moving across the sky and settling into storms. He could hear the roll of thunder, and a few seconds later, a crack of lightning lit up the sky. The air around him seemed to vibrate, almost rumbling with the force of the rain, and he couldn’t stop himself from moving to the backseat and taking the blanket that had been crumpled on the passenger seat, throwing it over himself and curling into a ball. It still smelled like Eren, he noted, and curled into himself further, bringing his knees practically to his chest and wrapping his arms around his legs, squeezing.

What he knew was that he had a fear of abandonment. That was extremely certain, and it was why he had lived alone for many years without allowing himself much contact with others. _Levi,_ they said. _Levi, what’s up with you? Why do you act like this?_ And he couldn’t pinpoint exactly why, but he knew it had to do with being poor when he was younger and being put through foster home after foster home, because no one wanted to deal with a kid as problematic as himself. Scarred back and thighs, nails and tears- he wasn’t easy. He was abandoned by family after family, until graduation came along and he moved out of the system. He landed a job working full-time at the local bookstore, working there for a year to save up enough money for school. It was where he had met Erwin.

Sometimes he wished he could go back to when he was 18 and barely holding on to extended threads.

He had moved in with Eren after one year of dating, and they quickly settled into a routine. Woke up around the same time, Eren making breakfast while Levi sipped coffee and tried to regain his senses. Eren went to school, Levi went to work to meet with drones and copies upon copies of the same novel with the same plot, eating lunch with Erwin occasionally at the Starbucks down the street. Coming home at five, waiting for Eren to finish class and either eating in or going out. Possibly having sex later on, mostly just watching TV on the couch with Eren’s head on his shoulder, typing words upon words on his laptop and wringing out his wrists.

_Hey, Levi?_

_Yeah?_

_I love you._

_…I love you, too._

The tears dried on the leather seats, and he slipped into a deep slumber.

He dreamed of tanned hands on his back, running fingertips up and down each feather of his tattoo, poking and sliding. Lips on the intersecting wings, incomprehensible words being whispered into each juncture of his spine, hands on his shoulders and hands on his thighs and hands in his hair. Hands pulling and pushing, arms ringing around his own and walking down cobbled streets into stores, sweeping eyes over silver rings, gold rings, bronze rings. Diamonds and pearls, keys strung onto black cord and slung around slender necks, putting his fingers to the nape of a tan neck and smoothing over the muscles there in a smooth line. Lyrics whispered into dark brown hair, _say that you’ll stay, say that you’ll stay._

Tears shed onto black leather. Dreaming of the bookstore, the television in their living room, their kettle, their bed and comforter. Dreaming of the songs on his iPod, the shows on his iTunes, the pictures hanging on the mantle near their bed. Roller coasters and hot dogs and Ferris wheels, leaning heads on shoulders when they stopped at the top on a dark night, stealing touches and jolting when the wheel started turning again and laughing. Being dragged out to movies at midnight and being disappointed with them, and going home and being wrapped up in each other’s arms until the sun rose.

By then, the rain had gotten progressively worse, if that were even possible. He twitched his eyebrows in his sleep and instinctively pulled the blanket closer around him, sniffing the edges and wiping his eyes. He missed their bed. He supposed he could go back up to the apartment, but he was stubborn and brash.

Then there was a knock on the window. Barely audible at first, he didn’t even realize someone was there until it turned into full on pounding. He blinked a few times, sitting up slowly while running a hand through his hair and wiping the sleep out of his eyes. He didn’t know how long he had been out, but he supposed it was for a few hours.

There was a face in the window, covered by a hood. Dark shadows fell over clouded eyes, wet, brown bangs falling over a forehead. Eyes watery, or was that just the rain? Mouthing something. He wasn’t sure. He crawled back into the front seat and unlocked the door, then went into the back again and cracked the door open a touch.

“Yes?”

“I can’t fucking believe you’ve been here the whole time. Idiot.” Eren climbed into the backseat, shaking his hair out and immediately shucking off his coat. He shut the door.

“Where did you think I was?”

“I don’t know. Not here. At Hanji’s, probably.”

“Did you call them?” He could tell his voice was rough. It cracked, and he coughed.

“Yeah. Hanji said they had talked to you, and that you were out here. That was a while ago, actually. Like three hours ago or something.”

“…How long have I been gone?”

“Four hours, I think. It’s almost midnight.”

“ _Fuck.”_

Eren smiled, expression softening. “Let’s get back to the apartment, OK?” He offered his hand; Levi took it.

They opened the car door, exiting quickly and running across the parking lot through the torrent of rain. They quickly rushed through the door and into the lobby, running across marble until they reached the elevator. Levi shivered while Eren put his arm around Levi’s shoulders, squeezing his fingers into the skin of Levi’s arm. Levi leaned into the touch.

They got back to the apartment, lights flicked on and glaring, TV set to some comedy channel where people were lying on their sides improvising scenes. Eren brought Levi over to the couch, sat him down, and turned off the TV before sitting down himself.

“So.”

“…So.”

Eren sighed. “Why’d you leave?”

“I freaked out. That’s normal, right? You know about what happened when I was younger.”

“Yes, I do. But it’s _me,_ Levi. I’m not some random foster family, right? You trust me, or I hope you do. I certainly trust _you._ ”

“We… We need to talk. About the whole London thing.”

Eren lowered his eyes, staring at his hands. He put them on top of Levi’s and clasped them between his own, rubbing small circles onto the side of Levi’s thumb. “I want to go.”

“I know.”

“I really, _really_ want to go. But I won’t if you’d feel lonely, or depressed, or-”

“Eren.” He took one of his hands from Eren’s grip, putting his thumb and pointer finger under Eren’s chin and tilting his head up. “I freaked out. And I’m sorry.”

“ _Oh my god.”_

“What, ‘oh my god?’”

Eren gave him a small smile. “You never apologize. You must _really_ feel like shit.”

“Yeah, I do, actually.”

“But seriously, I can just go another time. We can figure something else out, right?”

“No.”

“What?”

“ _No._ You won’t go another time, Eren.”

Eren furrowed his eyebrows, yanking his chin out of Levi’s hand. “Are you fucking serious? I love you, but that’s stupid. You don’t have control over me.”

“I know, and that’s why I’ll be OK if you go for the next semester.”

“…Wait. What?”

“I’m saying I’ll be fine, Eren. Do you ever listen?”

“Hey!”

“I’m _kidding.”_

“I know.”

And then Eren was leaning forward, wrapping his arms around Levi’s neck and back, bringing Levi to his chest and squeezing. Levi hugged back, shoving his face into the crook between Eren’s neck and shoulder, breathing in the scent of body wash. It was familiar, it was alluring; it smelled like home, if he were telling the truth. He couldn’t exactly place it, he never could, but it instantly calmed him.

He brought his head up from Eren’s shoulder and leaned in, closing his eyes. Their lips met in the middle, like an apology of sorts. He noticed that Eren’s lips were dry; his breath was warm, almost comforting. After a few seconds, minutes, who knew, he parted with Eren’s bottom lip between his own. He could feel Eren shiver in his arms.

“You’re gonna be all alone,” Eren whispered.

“I know.”

“Are you OK with that?”

“I’ll have to be.”

“…Wait, Levi. I just thought of something.”

“What?”

“Grab your laptop.”

He was reluctant to tear himself out of Eren’s firm grasp, but eventually he did, going to their bedroom and bringing his laptop back to the couch. As he sat down, Eren grabbed the comforter that had fallen to the floor and wrapped it around their shoulders. He opened the laptop and let Eren take it, watching as Eren opened up the internet browser.

“Your company has offices in England, right?”

“I think so.”

He watched Eren’s fingers fly over the keyboard, moving in circles over the trackpad. He looked at several pages, eyes scanning over words bright on the screen, clicking every few seconds. After a few minutes he turned to Levi, smile wide on his face.

“I have an idea. I’m not sure how you’ll feel about it, but don’t say anything until I’m done, OK?”

“Sure.”

He gripped Levi’s hands. “When you go into work on Monday, you’re telling Erwin or whoever your higher up is to let you transfer for a few months. The offices aren’t that far from the university I would be going to, and I’m sure we could rent an apartment or something for a few months instead of me living in a dorm. We would have to buy food and stuff, probably get subway passes or something like that, but we could still be _together._ ”

“…You’re brilliant, Eren. Holy _shit.”_ A grin broke across Levi’s face. “I always wanted to go there.”

“I would be miserable without you, right? And you would be miserable without me. It’s _perfect.”_

“Shit, I think the London offices deal more with comics instead of novels, too. Could give me a break for once. _Fuck.”_

Eren could feel his cheeks start to tingle. He hugged Levi again, situating his hands into Levi’s hair and smiling into the crown. He pushed his lips onto the top of Levi’s head and left them there, rubbing circles into Levi’s neck.

_Perfect. Absolutely perfect._

  


* * *

  


The seats on the plane, they were blue and made of fabric ridden with lint balls. The air was dank, almost stuffy, and the cushions on the seat made Levi want to squirm. He was seated by the window, imprinted with the prints of grubby fingers on glass, cold air blowing onto his head from above. He had his laptop stowed under the seat in front of him, bottle of water sitting in the magazine basket along with his e-reader.

Eren sat beside him, squirming in his seat. He had been outside the country multiple times, but never on a plane ride as long as the one to London. He had his DS out on his lap, tapping the stylus onto the screen and letting out quiet groans of frustration at whatever was going on. Levi glanced at the screen; it seemed like some sort of back and forth fighting game with animals. _Pokemon?_ He couldn’t remember. All he knew was that Eren was trying to catch up on the series before the new game release in November.

A flight attendant walked down the aisle of the plane, stopping near their seats and glaring at Eren as he reluctantly closed his screen. The light on the side flashed blue, and when the flight attendant moved on, he opened the screen again and continued to tap.

“Can’t you just close it for a while?”

“Levi, you can’t save when you’re in a battle. That’s like, common knowledge.”

“Yeah, well, not for me. I guess I’m too old for that shit, right?”

Eren bumped his shoulder into Levi’s. “Nah, it’s been around since you were nine or something. You probably just don’t remember.”

“Probably.”

_“Passengers, please buckle your seatbelts and get ready for take off. The flight will be just around eight hours. We will arrive in London around 8 PM BST, or 3 PM EST.”_

Levi heard Eren mutter a silent _“yes!”_ and watched him save his game, closing the DS and stowing it in the magazine bin. He grabbed Eren’s hand in his own, squeezing softly.

“You ready?”

Eren nodded, smiling. “You?”

“Of course.”

The plane rumbled, and the sun peeked into Levi’s window from behind the clouds.

**Author's Note:**

> who dat who dat L-E-V-I
> 
> i'm really happy to be finally done with this, honestly i've been procrastinating since April with this fic and to be done with it is a relief, especially since school for me ends in a little over a week. i'll have more time in the summer to focus on writing though!
> 
> title is a line from the song Jude Law And A Semester Abroad by Brand New.
> 
> as usual, I have two tumblrs that you can feel free to follow. [daddylazward](http://www.daddylazward.tumblr.com) is my main account, and [i-am-an-evil-witch](http://www.i-am-an-evil-witch.tumblr.com) is my writing account, which is where you can find new fics that I write, updates, original material, etc.


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